"What you hear in the night, you must speak in the day."

Hopefully my friend Tina will forgive me the paraphrasing of her words (see at the end of this blog) concerning the age old struggle between the Marys and the Marthas of the world. Her comment concerns something that I found myself particularly wrestling with several years ago while attending a 5-Day Academy for Spiritual Formation just outside Nashville, TN.

I had always identified more with Mary as far back as I could remember, but at this retreat, I came face to face with the fact that I had somehow, over the years, become more of a Martha!

When Tina mentioned this, my thoughts went flying back to a truly sacred moment, unlike any other I have ever experienced, when the Lord spoke to me…even in the midst of my complaining! I would like to share that remarkable moment with those who read this blog.

The tremendously gifted teacher, and our main speaker, Bob Mulholland (Author of Shaped by the Word) stopped in the middle of an afternoon talk and instructed us to take our Bibles, find a quiet spot somewhere on the grounds, and read the story of Mary and Martha. We were instructed to listen to what God might be saying to us in the midst of the reading. My heart sank! How many times had I read this story? How many retreats had I been to where this particular story was used as its focus? And now...at a Spiritual Formation Academy...here it was one more time!

Determined to find something positive in the assignment, I was immediately excited at the prospect of finding a spot outdoors, leaving the stuffy classroom behind for 30 minutes or so. It was a gorgeous fall day and the gentle breeze seemed to beckon me to come sit under a huge, old oak tree. I felt that with so many of my senses involved, surely I would be drawn into a state where some sort of pleasant communion with the Creator of the universe would take place!

As I sat down and found the scripture about the two sisters, I marked the spot and immediately closed my Bible. I just did not want to deal with it! I shut my eyes, leaned my head against the tree and felt the brush of a falling leaf float past the tip of my nose. How wonderful! What I wanted was for the Lord to come to me. I wanted to be with God...that's all! Just to sit with the Lord for a while...saying nothing, doing nothing. Just being with Him!

I found myself silently saying, over and over again, "Come Lord Jesus, I just want to be with you." Time and time again I said this until, seemingly out of nowhere, I realized a presence in a white robe was standing in front of me. I knew it was Jesus! I sat so still, not wanting the moment to pass!

Then He spoke! I'll never forget that moment...never forget His words. He said my name first of all! He said, "Gerrie, I want to tell you how much I love you. I've told you in so many different ways, but you keep forgetting." He did not say this with any sign of reprimand at all! It was as though he might have added, "and I'll keep telling you, as often as I need to."

My words, though I never opened my mouth, came back to Him, "But how can you love me as you did when I was a little child? So eager, so open?" His gentle response was priceless as He lovingly said, "To me, you've never changed." Oh my! How my heart speeds up as I remember these words.

The non-verbal conversation continued. I did not want the moment to end, but I remained sitting in complete silence...saying nothing for a while. Then I remembered, with a bit of guilt, the unopened Bible on my lap and the Mary and Martha assignment! Jesus knew my thoughts and said, "It's ok...go ahead. I will go with you into the scriptures."

Suddenly I found myself being defensive with God, saying, "but, someone had to feed the guests, Lord!" Then, I'll never forget this remarkable lesson as Jesus said my name the second time. He said, "Gerrie, I fed the 5,000, I could have taken care of this!" Once again, I felt no reprimand at all in his voice. I smiled at His words though as I opened my Bible and began reading.

That is where my account of this very real experience ends. It was a most extraordinary experience with the Lord. In this I identify with the scripture that says, "what you have heard in the night, you must speak in the day." It seems that it applies to this experience. I believe that what is given to one as a message from the Lord, though it is often very personal for a season, is eventually meant to be shared with those who have ears to hear.

I have shared with you, the reader. I pray you have heard these words and somehow been blessed by them, for these words were given to you as much as they were given to me!